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Showing posts from April, 2020

The Narcissism of Video Calls

I find myself staring at my own image when I’m on video calls.  I’m mesmerized by my own reflection. I don’t have that opportunity to look at myself when I’m face-to-face with another person but now I can see exactly how my face reacts to other people and what I look like when someone else is talking and when I’m talking. Here are some thoughts running through my head as I gaze at my own visage Is that what I look like? Is it that obvious that I’m bored or distracted? How come my facial expressions are so difficult to read? How come they’re so easy to read at other points?  Why do I look so serious? Is anyone else distracted by watching looking at their own image? Can I make eye contact with the camera and see what I look like at the same time? Do I really touch my hair that much? Can I get coronavirus from touching my hair? How do I find the best lighting and device positioning to accentuate my facial structure?  The worst is whe...

A Man's Review of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

Van Epp’s RAM Model helps men set the pace in dating relationships When a man learns ballroom dance, he takes the lead and his partner follows. If he’s dancing the tango, he maintains a strong frame - right elbow up, straight posture, and a firm but gentle hand cupping his partner’s shoulder blade. Once the music starts, he moves in rhythm with the beat and takes decisive steps. He sets the pace. John Van Epp’s classic tome, How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk is a ballroom dance guide for dating. It’s written to help men and women to determine the right tempo to pace their dating relationship. Though the book does not specifically address men, this Art of Manliness interview with Van Epp does. General relationship books are often addressed primarily to women, as evidenced by “jerk” in the title, which is a gendered term for men. In spite of the title, the book offers a road map for how men can lead in a dating relationship. There’s a strong case for affirming traditional...

Reconciling Repentance with Grace and Forgiveness

Photo by  Annie Spratt  on  Unsplash Revelation 2:4-5 [God speaking to the angel of the church in Ephesus] But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent , and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent . [emphasis mine] Luke 24:46-47 [newly resurrected Jesus addressing two disciples] And said to them, Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, 47 and that r epentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. [emphasis mine] In early February, I met up in-person to explore a friend of a friend's interest in Quicksilver Church. I’ll call him Eli.  Eli shared his observation that so many churches have ignored Jesus’ teaching about repentance and instead focus solely on preaching mercy, grace...