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| He doesn't wear a cape but he should |
Dear women of all ethnicities,
I can't tell you how excited I am to share something with you. Let me set it up for you first.
We Asian guys have a pretty bad rap.
There are statistics like Asian men have to make $247,000 more annually in order to receive the same response rate as white men on online dating sites. I've also been contemplating putting up a post titled: "Why Asian guys are more feminine". It lists the biological and cultural for why Asian men are less attractive relative to other races, specifically white guys. Examples: 1) we're smaller in stature with less body hair 2) our culture is more passive, less independent, and more emotionally restrained which rewards Asian women but punishes Asian men 3) the self-selecting population of Asian immigrants in the bay area tends to be high IQ and low EQ. In sum, I want to complain, whine, bemoan, have you feel sorry for us, blah blah blah.
Enter Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, former Fuller Seminary professor, current missionary to save the world from bad marriages, and now my 2nd-favorite man-crush (Jeremy Lin duh!). I read his book Two Dates or Less in two hours or less. It was well-written, concise, and spectacularly insightful. And then I googled him and found this article from 2005 on Salon.com written by a 30-year old single white pagan feminist woman (sensing some redundancy here). After interviewing Warren, Rebecca Traister writes:
During the conversation, Warren grappled — honestly, it seemed — with his feelings about homosexuality, his pride in his multiracial workforce, his commitment to marriage, and his belief that I should really consider dating an Asian guy.
What just happened there? Did he just say . . What? But wait there's more:
As for my romantic prospects, Warren had some grim news. He said that because I was bright, I “lose at least 95 percent of candidates because of IQ.” Great. Apparently, I also need someone articulate, ambitious and energetic. In short, as Warren said, I am “looking for a rare, rare, rare person.” He laughed when I told him that I had received more than 20 matches but that only a couple sounded even remotely appealing. “Well, you’d be lucky if you found one in that batch,” he said, adding that one is all I need. When I asked if he had a guess as to why most of my matches had been Chinese or Indian, he surmised it was because I had checked that racial difference didn’t matter to me. Then he offered this advice: “I would say that if indeed racial things are not a big issue — and frankly they would not be for me — then I can tell you that there are so many great qualities to Asian people and I would be looking at Asians. I don’t know why you were matched with mostly Asians, but I do know that some of the really strong people in this country who are available and smart and quite Internet savvy are Asians.”
My initial response was to think, dude this is a racist old white guy.
But then I realized he is talking us up! This man has spent 30+ years counseling couples, built a dating website that has led to more marriages than all other dating sites combined, lives in diverse southern California, and now looks objectively at the data and says: Date Asian men.
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