Rant of the Exiles

Last Friday I heard Francis Chan at the bay area Collide event. It was awesome. Packed house. Great time of worship and prayer. A very diverse group was gathered including the most Polynesian Christians I've ever been around. Francis Chan gave a powerful talk - it wasn't a rah-rah, go-get-em' talk that would have been appropriate for the venue. It was a gospel message. Straight-up radical, transforming grace of God that showed how amazing the love of our Father is. He shared about his own abusive dad and how he projected his dad's emotional absence onto God. He identified the idolatry that many Asians struggle with. Its not that we worship our parents. Its that we view God as being similar to our parents. He called it sin and he's right. "I wish I had your dad" is what other people should say when they hear about God our Father - the one who celebrates us in the midst of our failure and rebellion.

After being exposed to different churches in college, I returned back to my Chinese immigrant church feeling quite superior. One thing I have always hated about our church and others like it is we have events at very inconvenient times. The youth group meets on Friday nights. That sucks. I would arrive at church on those evenings and be greeted by chaos . It was a sight: toddlers running around, moms jabbering in Chinese, elderly people blocking my path, and junior high boys chasing each other. My condescension quickly turned to bitterness and resentment. Being a youth counselor on Friday nights is a big-time cramp in an active 20-something's social life. It also might be a major reason many ABC believers who come back after college to help out with their youth groups have trouble meeting new people. And then there are the all-church retreats, which in our church network occur over Thanksgiving weekend. What kind of timing is that? I remember speaking at a conference in ...

I attended the Missional Mom workshop this past Saturday with Helen Lee. Here are some of my impressions: Helen’s presentation was excellent visually and rhetorically. Her workshop had the subtitle of "Beyond Tiger Mom" and she spent considerable time talking about Amy Chua and her parenting style. But she didn't caricature Chua or bash her like many have done. Helen talked about what we agree with in Chua's approach and more importantly, in her motivation. This was really smart and well-executed. It was pretty amazing when she shared about her own father, how successful he was and yet how he still he felt like a failure. She did an amazing job pinpointing what it meant to be a child of the Asian immigrant wave of the 60s and 70s and then she transitioned in a vulnerable and gentle yet incisive way towards what might be deficient about the American dream. Its what I tried to do in my Isaiah Chen article but her tone was far more gracious. Her humble yet...

Back in 9th grade French class with Madame Pimentel, I vividly recall having a heated discussion with Shivani Sutaria, a second-generation Indian-American, about intelligence and race. As a second-generation Chinese-American, I have certain pride in my heritage. And being one to speak my mind unencumbered by tact and sensitivity, I asserted that Chinese people are smarter than any other ethnic group. Rather than instantly win the respect and admiration of my peers, my classmates (including the Chinese ones) recoiled at my claim, especially Shivani, who spoke out vehemently. I remember leaving class that day thinking how could anyone possibly disagree with my position? I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chinese people are far superior in intellect than any other race. My argument went something like this: All the Chinese students I knew were in accelerated or advanced classes. And every Chinese person I knew was absolutely kick-ass in math and science. I...

LORD, my heart is heavy with what's going on in Japan. I pray you would guide the rescue and relief efforts. Help supplies reach the people who need it most. Help rescuers locate missing survivors. Give stranded survivors what they need most - resources to live and especially hope. May roads be opened and power be turned on. I pray the nuclear reactor radiation would be controlled and minimized. And I pray most of all, the hearts of the Japanese would be turned towards you. LORD, I pray you would raise up Christians in Japan and outside of it who would go in love to help and contribute towards the rescue and rebuilding effort. I pray hungry and desperate people would want to know you, the true living God. And I pray they would find the unconditional love that was demonstrated by your death on the cross.

I was talking with our church elders about the challenge of getting dads in our youth group to come to our parent appreciation night. Many of them are either out of town or too busy. In a couple instances I offered to talk directly to the dad (whom I usually know casually) and the wife or child would decline my offer and tell me that he/she would talk to him personally. This is not surprising in the Chinese church but it was little bit discouraging to me. Barna research indicates the average church gender ratio is about 2:3 men to women. That's about right in the Chinese immigrant church, perhaps even fewer men than that. It also occurred to me there is no such thing as a tiger dad. Sure, he exists, but the fact that he does makes him the exception. Amy Chua's father was, by her own admission , a tiger dad. But the fact that she is an extreme parent proves the rule. Tiger dads, by and large, do not exist, especially among Asians. Asian dads tend to be disengaged emot...

Stereotyping of Asian-Americans: During the day, I work on sermons at Peet’s Coffee. A lady who is a regular there saw me one time and approached me. She asked me if I was unemployed and looking for a job. She told me her husband has a company and they are looking for people who have computer skills. She said “I know your people are good at these types of things. . .” Ignorance of Immigrant Church: The dozens of Caucasian parents I meet through my kids’ school eventually find out I’m a pastor in a Chinese church. Their first question is “So do you preach in English?” Asian-American High School Competitive Atmosphere: I’m talking to a high school senior. Him: “Ugh. I have cross-country practice today. Its so pointless and such a waste of time.” Me: “So why do you do it?” Him: “It looks good for college”.

Pictured is a tactic I have imagined using in certain church meetings I've had in the past. Anyone who ministers to people has meetings and Chinese church meetings have their own unique set of frustrations. Of course these vary by church but here are some suggestions to help navigate what could potentially be hazardous minefield for 2nd generation Asian-Americans and non-Asians. The context is meetings between ABC ministers and lay people (like myself) and OBC ministers and lay people. 1) Determine the de facto leadership structure. Titles are not as important as seniority and status. Someone with no official position may pull the strings. 2) Find out attendees' position in advance and explain your position. This is not always possible due to time and relationship considerations but it makes a huge difference in what kind of expectation you set for the meeting. Much (if not all) of the decision-making happens outside the meeting because often dissenting opinions are ...