Rant of the Exiles

Today I spent the day in the sunshine on the beach in Cayucos, making sand castles with my kids. I wrote these words exactly a year ago in my journal: I am a slave to Christ. I will serve no other master. Today I soak in the sunshine. It makes the rain meaningful.

**** UPDATE **** They posted video of the plenary sessions so I've updated the links to the video. I am so grateful for Jeff Louie and the gospel preaching fellowship we've had with him. The experience helped prepare me for this conference in a significant way. Hearing the speakers reinforced what God has been teaching me about the gospel and what changes lives. (My buddy SooSang Park also told me that Tullian Tchividjian was amazing during the church planting panel and C. J. Mahaney lit it up during his workshop but I didn't get to see those guys) My favorite talk by far was Don Carson's "Getting Excited about Melchizedek" I've never heard this guy speak. And he blew it up. Straight up baller. It was the type of message that pastors get excited about because the exposition was so amazing - starting in Psalm 110, going back to Genesis 14 and ending up in Hebrews 7. I was in tears as I imagined what David was thinking as he, inspired by the Spirit, p...

While waiting for the next game of pick-up basketball at the community center, three high school students (all white males) were discussing how one of them had a job at an Asian supermarket. They asked him if anyone spoke English at the store and stuff like that. I'm sitting maybe two feet away. Then one of the guys, who is now a graduating senior and I've played with since a freshman, turned to me and asked - "Don't take this the wrong way, but can I you a question?" I love it when people say that. I looked at him, nodded (smile on my face), and braced myself (no smile inside). "Do Chinese people eat rice with soy sauce? Because I love to pour soy sauce over my rice." The other guys murmured their agreement on how awesome of a delicacy soy sauce and rice is. I looked at him and thought 1) I really like this kid 2) that is the most adorable and earnest question I have heard in a long time. I told him: "No. Chinese people don't do that....

Some of you may have forgotten this fairy tale. King Stefan and Queen Leah (the queen's name is never mentioned - I found it on Wikipedia) wrestle with years of infertility and finally, through in vitro fertilization, they give birth to a beautiful daughter, Aurora. At her christening, three fairies give her a blessing. But before the third fairy, Merriweather, can bless her, Malificent the evil fairy crashes the party. She is royally pissed off that she was not invited and therefore, curses Aurora that on her sixteenth birthday she will prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die. Merriweather, the last fairy to give her blessing, does not have the power to reverse Malificent's spell. But she does modify the curse - if Aurora's finger is pricked, it will not end in death but a deep slumber that can be awakened by true love's kiss. In one version of the Disney book, the narrator writes that Merriweather gave King Stefan the gift of hope. In Jo...

At the gospel coalition conference, someone made a comment that even white people (compared to black people) can be outwardly responsive to preaching. I think this comment arose because in the African-American contexts I've observed, the listeners practice "call and response". It is truly an interactive experience. The preacher makes a statement - usually a truth or moral teaching ("the call") and the audience echoes back their sentiment through enthusiastic nodding, a verbal "amen", standing up or some other kind of encouragement, verbal or otherwise ("the response"). Have you ever seen a gospel choir sing? You don't just hear them, you experience them. They are rocking back and forth, clapping their hands or raising them in the air, smiling broadly and swaying in rhythm . It is so awesome. I love this kind of interaction. I dream about preaching in a black church. I crave that level of audience connectedness. It can be ve...

I went to the Gospel Coalition National Conference in Chicago. It was awesome. The speakers, workshops, and panels were off the chain. The best part though was hanging with two brothers from the bay - pastors Travis Marsh and SooSang Park . Travis and I flew and roomed together and he's just a really cool laid-back guy who is getting ready to plant a church. He's built an amazing youth ministry that has emerging leaders fighting to serve in. He also has a poignant story of how grace transformed his life. I misjudged SooSang. I thought he would be intelligent, arrogant, and brutal. SooSang is one of the smartest people I've ever met yet not self-righteous and far more gentle than I expected. In separate conversation with each of them, we discussed reformed theology, church life, and ministry. Most memorable of all, we shared stories of how Jesus ran us down and wrecked us for good.

I'm not crazy about David Brooks (I don't agree with some beliefs he's expressed) but the guy is a baller writer and thinker and his latest article is a good one. Its about how we see life through metaphor in a much deeper and pervasive way than we realize. As a preacher, I'm always searching for the perfect metaphor to convey a spiritual concept. What Brooks helped me realize is perhaps the metaphor is not just a secondary means but the primary means by which we understand the spiritual realm. Jesus' miracles were all metaphors pointing to a greater spiritual reality. Brooks writes "If much of our thinking is shaped and driven by metaphor, then the skilled thinker will be able to recognize patterns, blend patterns, apprehend the relationships and pursue unexpected likenesses." LORD, help me grow that skill. May you open our eyes to the thousands of lenses that refract grace into our lives.

My friend Scott Chiang wrote an excellent paper about whether the Ten Commandments are a necessary supplement to the New Covenant. They are not. I hope he posts it sometime to share with everyone. In any case, he uses a wonderful metaphor concerning the law: The law is like training wheels. They help you learn how to ride a bike but they limit your freedom, you can't go as far or as fast as you were meant to, and most of all, they were meant to come off. I shared that metaphor on Sunday when I preached on the Sabbath commandment. The Sabbath is a faith endeavor. Israel rested to remember God's work of creation. As Christians, we rest to remember Christ's work of redemption and our new creation as his children. I emphasized Jesus, as Lord of the Sabbath, is less interested in how we celebrate the Sabbath (what day and and what our rest looks like) than our attitude towards the Sabbath (faith and freedom from the factory mentality). After the service, I asked a ...

I am a slave to Christ today. Even if I sometimes go back to my old prison. I love repetitive, catchy teeny-bopper music. It awakens the child in me.

I have nothing to blog about today. But well, stuff happened. But some things are better kept private or at least privater than the worldwide web. There are some other unrelated things I want to write about but I'm too tired to do it. I get in those moods a lot. The worst is when there's a couple idea I have running around that are very important but I haven't figured out how to say them just right so I think they're better unsaid (or unwritten). I write best in the morning and its not morning so I should quit while I'm ahead. Nothing to blog about today.

I really need something RIGHT NOW. I want to feel good at this VERY MOMENT. I am going to go crazy unless I experience some kind of RELEASE or ESCAPE. You do need something Fred, and you deserve much better than an instant fix. You want the feeling of negativity and inadequacy to disappear instantly but you know it doesn’t work like that. You need lasting gratification more than the instant stuff. Lasting gratification is not guaranteed – its risky but its so worth pursuing. To really connect with someone else and connect with yourself. Your feeling of despair is not the most important thing. Now is not the only thing. The now will pass. Connection is risky but it is worth the cost and worth the wait.

We had a church leadership meeting tonight and my dad basically went around putting my people on the spot to share something personal about their lives. There were some awkward moments of silence but it went pretty well overall. Well in the sense that people did open up and become vulnerable and there was a closeness we felt with each other afterwards. Ordinarily, I bristle when someone forces someone to share but in this context and perhaps due to others understanding my dad's intention and accepting his style, it worked well. Maybe its an OBC thing (most of the meeting was OBCs) but this one area where I would have led the meeting in completely different way and would have been much less successful (in terms of how much people talked) than my dad. It seems like if people's main obstacle is fear of monopolizing the conversation (and there's also a level of trust and safety) then putting someone on the spot might be a pretty good idea.

An OBC friend in seminary told me about some advice his OBC pastor gave him about becoming a pastor: “When you go into ministry, you have to swallow everything”. This counsel was given in the context of how a pastor should deal with his own personal struggles and complaints concerning ministry. Swallow up struggles. Do not voice complaints. Don’t expose weakness, especially to your congregation. And never, ever cry over yourself. I believe this pastor’s perspective is fairly typical in the Asian immigrant church (and possibly most churches). Asian pastors and church leaders tend to stuff their emotions and complaints. As Asian pastors, we place a high value on emotional restraint and saving face, we don’t want to burden people with our own struggles (we’re paid to serve others after all), and we don’t want to appear weak or incapable of leadership. Even in college, I remember hearing counsel from a Korean church leader on how to teach bible study: “Be careful not...

Junior high kids, please wear soft shoes with plenty of cushion. We're going to do something really exciting tomorrow on the roof of the church involving lots of pillows, and a homemade zip line made of dental floss. It is going to be awesome. Fred