Rant of the Exiles

I enjoy Jay Caspian Kang's writing at Grantland , a sports journalism website. But his recent NY Times article takes his craft to another level. Kang writes about the Oikos nursing school massacre in Oakland last April. He compares it with the Virginia Tech massacre five years earlier. Both involved Koreans. In an interview with Korean-American child psychiatrist, Winston Chung, Kang writes: “In Korean culture,” Chung explained, “denial and avoidance are the status quo. Under all that  suppression, emotional turmoil festers. When it’s not addressed, it can turn explosive. There’s this dark side that needs to be dealt with, but the Korean community as a whole will not acknowledge that               something is up. Nobody will say anything about anything. “I know this shooting had something to do with   han , with hwabyung , [two Korean terms meaning hopeless anger] Chung went on. “I feel almost guilty saying that, knowing how hurtful those words might be to other members of th

This post was inspired by the song "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and this post . In a recent Toastmasters meeting, a woman said in reference to dressing well, "When you look good, you feel good." I don't totally agree but I think I get it. Style matters. The clothes you wear convey individuality and confidence. Individuality makes you stand out from everyone else. And confidence kills. I know Asian guys that dress well. Too bad most of them aren't not Christians. We're taught in the church that substance trumps style. That's true. And yet it doesn't mean style is meaningless. Style can express substance. Guys tend to shun vivid colors, outlandish looks, and clothes for young children (like footie pajamas). But if you're different and you know it, let it show. Let it shine. I went shopping at Goodwill recently. One was bright yellow. Before buying it, I asked myself: "Is this me?" I thought about it for a minute. I don&

Anne-Marie's Slaughter's controversial "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" examines why women continue to face barriers in career advancement that men don't.  After I read it, I felt angry.  I wasn't exactly sure why. I believe structural discrimination against women exists in corporate culture. I believe this bias extends to the evangelical church. And I believe stereotypes that Asian American women are submissive and compliant aren't helpful to career success either. And yet something about the article really bugged me.  But today I figured it out. In a New York Times blog post, Michael Winerip's  "He Hasn't Had It All Either"  hit it on the head. He articulated exactly what I've had trouble expressing. Who gets to have it all? Where did this assumption come from that we can get everything we dream about? Like Winerip, a writer who worked from home in order to be more involved with his kids, I'v

Living in a Christian bubble throughout high school and college, I had little exposure to the drinking scene. When I first started at IBM, my co-workers would invite me to a Los Gatos bar for drinks after work.  My impression of Los Gatos is that it's an affluent area full of tall, good-looking white people. I would approach the bar to order a drink, feeling like a midget, feeling both invisible and insignificant, feeling like I had to shout to be heard, and most of all, deathly afraid of embarrassing myself. I was so intimidated by the environment that I didn't even know how to talk to the waitresses (who were all tall, white, and good-looking). At that moment, starting a conversation with a stranger in a bar was the scariest thing in the world. It was like high school lunchtime all over again. I was the little newcomer nerdy Asian freshmen who had wandered into the wrong area of the school quad.  One time I found myself in the place where the senior jocks and cheerleader