Rant of the Exiles

The hardest question for a pastor and especially a church planter, to answer is: How is your church going? It is a common question. It is akin to: How are you doing? It is also a loaded question. There are so many ways to answer and so many layers depending on the interest level of the listener, the social context you’re in, and if you had an oversized burrito for lunch. If it's a dinner party with a litigation attorney you just met, a brief one-sentence response can suffice. If it's in front of a fire pit with a good friend over whiskey, a more in-depth explanation is appropriate. The most challenging context to answer this question is around other pastors and church planters. Most pastors are polite to recognize the implications of the question. We tend to recognize the insecurities that drift around this line of inquiry. Since there aren't that many vocational ministers running around, comparison is inevitable. The biggest fear is the dreaded: "How many people atte...

Psalm 131 1 O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;  I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. 2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. 3 O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. I recently preached a sermon from Psalms 131. It was a scary message to preach because my personality and temperament are diametrically opposed to calm, quiet, and not occupying myself with great and marvelous thoughts. I love noise, chaos, and thinking deep and philosophical thoughts. I seldom think a thought is too great and marvelous for me. In light of these barriers, I spent most of the sermon highlighting all the obstacles we face in calming and quieting ourselves with God. I talked about not getting a good night's rest. I talked about tossing and turning endlessly to find the perfect sleeping position. I confessed how, in the wee hours of...

  [2000 words, 14 minute read] I recently attended a Jordan B. Peterson speaking event at the San Jose Civic. The event was part of a book tour promoting his latest work, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life. The auditorium was almost completely full, the audience about 85% male, and I spotted only a smattering of Asian Americans. About halfway through his lecture, I realize this an elaborate 75-minute gospel presentation. Gospel as in not only just Peterson’s soapbox but the good news of Jesus Christ. It was gorgeous and awe-inspiring. Although I'm a pastor, I tire of most gospel presentations including my own. They're like sub-par romantic comedies: formulaic, emotionally manipulative, boring, and trying to be funny but falling woefully short. Worst of all, there's no subtlety; they hit you over the head with a trite message over and over. There's pressure in evangelical culture to present the gospel like a bad romantic comedy. It has to follow the formula. There’s a...

Different expectations of conflict From a recent Facebook post: Working on a post about unsolvable problems in marriage: For those who have been married five or more years, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much expectation did you have entering into marriage that communication could resolve any conflict between you and your spouse? How would you rate that expectation now? People often enter into marriage thinking that most if not all their conflicts can be resolved. Women come into marriage thinking "I can make my husband a better man". Men come into marriage thinking, "My wife will learn to see things my way". This idealistic view of marriage does not survive contact with the enemy. Even for couples for whom the first years of marriage are conflict-free, raising children is its own brand of unsolvable problem. And then there's sickness and mental health issues, job changes, unemployment, moving, and shifts in friendships. Conflict in marriage is inevitable. A number ...

This is an occasional series on repentance. Part 1 is here . In these conversations I’ve had about repentance, the word tension has been mentioned. Tension means fear. Tension means conflict. Tension means uncertainty. It is the liminal space between what should happen and what will really happen.  In conservative evangelical circles, I’ve noticed we are quick to build and eliminate tension. N. T. Wright wrote a Time Magazine piece explaining the role of Christianity isn’t to eliminate tension but rather embrace it head-on. Coming to terms with tension is where Christianity shines. Not because Christianity offers answers but because COVID-19 has introduced all kinds of tensions in our lives and our instinct as evangelical Christians is to eliminate it as quickly as possible. I’ve noticed sermons (including and especially my own) build tension at the beginning and then work hard to completely resolve the tension by the end of the message. We know Jesus is the answer but is it reall...

Photo by  Annie Spratt  on  Unsplash Revelation 2:4-5 [God speaking to the angel of the church in Ephesus] But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent , and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent . [emphasis mine] Luke 24:46-47 [newly resurrected Jesus addressing two disciples] And said to them, Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, 47 and that r epentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. [emphasis mine] In early February, I met up in-person to explore a friend of a friend's interest in Quicksilver Church. I’ll call him Eli.  Eli shared his observation that so many churches have ignored Jesus’ teaching about repentance and instead focus solely on preaching mercy, grace...

I remember seeing my primary care physician a number of years ago for my annual physical. It had been years since my last exam. My doctor told me men see him for one of three reasons: One, a woman - a man's significant other, mom, or sister - made them. Two, they’re experiencing chronic and debilitating pain. Basically, they’re in a world of unrelenting hurt. Finally, they’re dealing with a condition that threatens their manhood (i.e. erectile dysfunction). I was in the first camp as my wife made me. In general, men resist seeing a doctor almost as much as they resist seeing a therapist. Therapy has less of a stigma for young men than earlier generations. According to this articl e, there appears to be about 2:1 female to male ratio of those who go to therapy. Why is it so difficult for men to seek therapy? Here are five possible reasons: Men fear exhibiting weakness: Though less true today, going to therapy is viewed as weakness as men tend to experience shame when asking for ...

My dad and I in Southorn Playground When I was a kid, one of my enduring memories of my dad was lectures he gave my brother and me about his impoverished upbringing. He would regale us with tales of how hard he worked to gain entrance into National Taiwan University, make it to America, obtain a master’s degree, get a job at IBM, become a successful project manager, and then own an expensive home in Almaden Valley. I have not so fond memories of sitting there in guilt and shame as he described to my brother and me the circumstances he overcame because of his diligent work ethic. That was an enduring paternal narrative of my childhood. Unlike his immigrant peers, he didn’t put as much pressure on me or my brother to succeed but he was extremely critical of us and quick to point all the advantages we grow up with that he did not.  And then when I was around 13 years old, my dad became a follower of Jesus and his narrative gradually began to shift. It didn’t become apparent t...

Romans 6:14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under  law  but under grace. In Christian circles, one of the worst labels you can be tagged with is “legalist” or have a behavior you advocate called “legalistic”. It means you emphasize externals rather than the heart. It means you’re Pharisee - keeping the outside clean but enabling corruption on the inside. Christian doctrine explains we are justified by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Works are opposed to faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). Therefore, you cannot be made righteous on the basis of your good deeds, performance, or behavior.  And yet the Bible is full of injunctions regarding outward behavior - good deeds and religious works. In fact, the list of biblical imperatives drastically outnumber the faith-identity passages. Imagine you took a cursory glance at both the Old and New Testament and segregated scripture passages in two categories: imperatives governing behavior vs. faith-identi...