Rant of the Exiles

In Chapter 6 of Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg tells women never to ask someone to be your mentor. She compares it to being like the young bird in the children's book "Are You My Mother?". And just like the innocent little bird who asks a steam shovel if its his mother, it should be obvious to us when someone is our mentor or not. Asking someone to be your mentor is the wrong question. She compares it to someone on a date asking "What are you thinking?" Instead, Sandberg tells women that they need to earn the right to be mentored by asking very specific questions, providing some special insight, creating some kind of value, etc. Basically you need to prove to someone that you're worthy of being mentored. And you have to do so in a way sensitive to gender dynamics (don't meet a senior man in a bar). And don't appear too dependent on others.  That makes me angry. She spends the preceding chapters telling women to raise their hands and keep them raise...

I never would have predicted we'd be reading Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg's new book about women's leadership, in our men's group at church but here we are. I told my co-leader that I have strong opinions about feminism and though my views aren't completely negative, I'm skeptical on the claims of the self-empowerment movement. I'm simply not buying all of the gender equality argument. However when my co-leader suggested the book as a way of getting to know women better, I couldn't back down on the challenge of a dissenting viewpoint. We have a neat group of guys in this club. They have made unique parenting decisions. Two of the men spent two years full-time at home each raising his young son. They felt it made a positive impact on their sons and had no regrets about the experience. One dad was unemployed so it wasn't voluntary. But the other chose to stay home from work and the women in his office were incredulous. They asked him why he wanted to...