Rant of the Exiles

Some responses to my last posts about why Asian American men marry later : desire for comfort, preference and privilege, aging well (decision paralysis because of too many options?), perfectionism, poor parental models of marriage, screwed up idea of relationships, low emotional intelligence, and being the most unappealing men in America (more on this in a future post). With the exception of us of being unappealing, I don't get how all these factors are unique to Asian American men but not women. I wonder if there's something unique about the way men respond to these factors that make marriage less accessible (or attractive) for us. For instance, low emotional intelligence may affect men more than women since men initiate and lead relationships. Similarly, having a conservative, risk-averse outlook is less attractive in a man than a woman. It will also keep a guy from asking girls out. I told my brother about my suspicions. When I got to the one about us maturing later, h

The National Marriage Project recently released a report called " Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America ". Many of us are aware that the average age of first marriage (27 for women and 29 for men) in the United States is at an all-time high.  But for Asian American men (but not women), it's much  higher . According to this 2010 study, white American men marry at age 28 while white women marry at age 26.  Asian American men marry two years later at age 30 while Asian American women marry at the same age as white women - 26. This gender gap is the widest of all ethnic groups. In fact, the only ethnic group that marries later is African Americans (And we all know black people don't get hitched because  marriage is for white people ). But if Asians are the model minority and the most assimilated to white culture, Asian American marriage patterns should more closely resemble that of white Americans. So how come Asian American me