Rant of the Exiles

A single friend in his early 20s asked for examples of dating milestones based on the previous post . He understood what not to do much better than he understood what to do. As often is the case for ambiguous topics, it’s often easier to define the negative rather than prescribe the positive. And in giving prescriptions, there’s a backlash because not all <fill in the blank> are like that, there’s individual personalities and background, and then there’s situational context. Given all this, I will still attempt to bring clarity to dating milestones.  Possible dating milestones: Here is a list of dating milestones that I recall in sequence for how my relationship with my wife progressed. We met in college through the ministry of a campus Christian group, now known as Cru. College is such a great place to meet people: similar intelligence and work ethic, often similar backgrounds, shared interests, lots of free time, and no adult supervision or responsibilities. The following ...

Update: What I learned after writing this.  What does the outsized willingness of Asian American women to date interracially reveal about courage vis-a-vis their male counterparts? It’s well-documented that Asian American women date and marry outside their race far more often than their male counterparts. Most estimate around a 2:1 ratio but I’ve read up to 4:1.   Weike Wang’s New Yorker short story perfectly captures the power asymmetry in Asian female-white male dating relationships with this memorable line: "So it was settled. The big question of why he was dating her was out of the way. Her Chineseness was not a factor. They were merely one out of a billion or so Asian girl–white guy couples walking around on this earth.” ONE BILLION Asian girl - white guy couples. That’s certainly what it feels like in the San Francisco bay area and other urban centers like New York City, where her story is set. It’s a trend I observed in my high school over two de...

[Spoiler alert - no major plot twists revealed but I quote from the book. I haven’t seen the show] My wife cautioned me when I picked it up. “It’s really feminist.” She told me a couple times. I hadn’t read a Margaret Atwood book yet but heard she was an amazing writer and the TV show was getting press.  The Handmaid’s Tale is a great novel. It accomplishes exactly what dystopian fiction is meant to do - to imagine contemporary culture, twisted in one particular way so that its corresponding ripple effect reverberates throughout every aspect of society. The prose is brilliant, the images evocative, but most of all, it’s haunting. There’s a sense of dread that accompanies the main character, Offred, throughout the story. The narrative is told solely from Offred’s perspective, as if you’re reading her diary. There are moments when the storm clouds of dread momentarily clear and rays of light peek through. The tension keeps ratcheting up, with brief episodes of dissipation. Al...

I love DJ Khaled’s "I’m the One". The pop saccharine tune with a chorus of big names (Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance, and Lil’ Wayne) is simple, catchy, has a great rhythm, and an obvious meaning. Bieber croons: Hear you’re sick of all those imitators Don’t let the only real one intimidate ya And there ’ s  a very succinct boast from  Quavo: I make your dreams come true when you wake up   Make no mistake - “I’m the One” is 100% male braggadocio. Feminist anthems are essentially male ballads. Except in a male ballad the man brags about himself without ever saying he’s a man whereas in a feminist anthem, the woman brags about herself by making repeated and explicit references to her womanhood.  Male ballads have been around since like forever. I’m sure there was some caveman who was trying to woo his prospective wife by making up a song and came up with the male ballad. Evolutionary psychology...

[3,100 words, 11 minute read] The sex talk is one of the most dreaded conversations parents anticipate having with their children. To make things easier, an entire industry exists to help parents with sex education. Dozens of books have been written to help parents navigate this treacherous topic with their progeny. One of the best known among evangelicals is called the Passport 2 Purity Getaway package . It is produced by FamilyLife, a division of Cru (former Campus Crusade for Christ) and consists of a five lecture CD package including a journal and exercises designed as a weekend retreat for a pre-pubescent child and his/her parent(s). Passport 2 Purity was not my initiative. Our trip came about because Judy had heard from several home-schooling mom friends how they had taken their daughters on a road trip to go through the CDs. She even heard how a mom took a trip with husband and two sons to through the curriculum. So a couple months ago, Judy suggested we take our two older boy...

Sam Harris breaks down radical Islam - the beliefs of the Islamic State in this podcast . He references the publication of the Islamic State, Dabiq, Read this magazine at your own risk because it is terrifying. The publication is horrifying for many reasons - mostly because it’s true. It is extremely clear. ISIS is intent on killing people of the West. Make no mistake about it. It is not about our foreign policy, it is not about imperialism, it is not about excess, it is about our beliefs. We are disbelievers. Harris is an atheist and it is fascinating to listen to the Dabiq writers describe Christianity from the perspective of another religion (radical Islam) and then hear Harris evaluate Christianity and radical Islam from the perspective of an atheist. He brings out good points. The Christian concept of trinity is a doctrine that is very difficult to describe. It’s so easy for us just say oh we’re not meant to understand this mystery of God. That’s such a cop out answer. Ha...