Rant of the Exiles

I often hear complaints from Asian American that roughly go like this: “I’m a victim of low self-esteem because of how my Asian immigrant parents shamed me during my childhood. The way forward is to resent my parents and their shaming tactics and to avoid shaming experiences in the future.” According to American's society’s leading shame popularizer, Brene Brown, shame is the "intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” It’s not that this definition is 100% incorrect rather that it’s incomplete, vague, and subjective. It focuses only on the individual’s emotional experience of shame. Before shame became public emotional enemy #1, there were Asians. Eastern cultures have been centered around honor and shame for thousands of years. While it's likely that most Westerners have a different understanding of shame, the consequences for this knowledge gap are more severe for those who are bicult...

I hate silence Silence I hate it It is deafening To confront Selves  normally hidden Now disclosed by the Absence of noise Ego dreams haunt my waking Don’t leave me with me I would rather have sounds Of someone else  I drown in them The rising tide creeps upward Clinging to my throat And I can’t breathe Carnal ruminations  Hide deeper longing And this salacious hunger Swallows my imagination When outside volume turns down The inside volume blasts Thwarted by thoughts Murdered by musings Rage fantasies hem me in Circling like soldiers Prison guards approach Incarceration's thunder booms Silence I hate it It is deafening

I watch movies to relax and be entertained but every now and then a movie comes along that grabs my attention and feels so compelling that I can't help but watch. Short Term 12 (now on Netflix) does that for me. It is a breakout performance for Brie Larson and she is fantastic. She plays supervisor at a foster-care home for at-risk youth. She is incredibly competent but she carries painful baggage that become exposed after a new girl joins the center. That's pretty much it as far as story arc. There is drama and tension built up but in the end, it's about a woman changing lives while working out her own personal life change. That pretty much summarizes what being a pastor is about. I work on other people's issues as I wrestle with my own. Here's why I loved the film: 1) Trying new things = laughter The humor in the movie is provided by Nate, the new staff person at the group home. He tells the teens he is taking a year off from college because he ...

Envy: a confused, tangled guide to one’s own ambitions.   - Alain de Botton This past Sunday I heard a great message on jealousy from 1 Samuel 18 and 19. Saul is king of Israel but David just defeated Goliath and is now the up and coming leader of Saul's army. David wins every battle against the Philistines. Saul gets jealous and tries to kill David. It's an age-old, tried and true formula. Envy and jealousy are synonyms. Being jealous of someone's else accomplishments is envy. To envy means to covet another person's possessions and as a result, resent the fact that you don't have what they have while hating the other person in the process.  We are susceptible to envy in the areas we find value. For men, it's work. And for pastors, there is really only one measurement of success: the number of people in your church. Numbers are tangible evidence. You can touch them. You take in the fragrance of success when you enter a crowded Sunday service. So...

There’s no way to make pain enjoyable to read. Pain has to be painful in order to do justice to its unique sensation. But some writers are simply gifted in describing pain and suffering with exquisite vulnerability, realism, and humor. This is a story about suffering, mistakes, and redemption. And throughout there’s pain and loss and even the redemption costs the characters something. It's difficult to fill a book with pain and yet have it brimming with hope, humor, and satire as well. And that’s precisely what makes Freedom a masterpiece. Its not always enjoyable and it bogs down at certain points. Towards the end, Franzen tends to sabotage the momentum he’s built up by giving detailed background that we care nothing about. I skimmed these pages quickly – refusing to be distracted from the burning question driving the narrative. Larson did the same thing in his Dragon Tattoo series and its annoying. It’s a story about family, love, sex, and the irony of postmodern socie...