Rant of the Exiles

Critical Race Theory (CRT) has been around for a long time. I pursued an education minor at UC Berkeley during the mid-1990s and Paulo Freie’s Pedagogy of the Oppressed (1968) was required reading in my ED190 class. Power dynamics is the bedrock of critical theory - the broader belief system for various types of oppression including racial, gender, socioeconomic, cognitive, disability, and sexual orientation. I vividly recall a class session where my instructor, a female graduate student, dressed in black leather, barked commands, and marched around the classroom, slapping a black riding crop on students’ desks. Her cosplay was exhibit A on the oppressiveness of traditional education. I remember classmates rolling their eyes at one another and taking it all in with amusement.  The non-role play class sessions were stimulating in other ways. We had good discussions and our instructor worked hard to treat us as peers and engage us in dialogue. This emphasis on dialogue as both a mea...

James Taylor, the great grandson of Hudson Taylor, the famed missionary to China who founded the China Inland Mission (now OMF) once said: “It is a tragedy so many foreign Chinese have left the evangelization of China up to the non-Chinese.” James spoke those words over twenty-five years ago during a Chinese church retreat when I was a senior in high school. His calling out of the Chinese diaspora vis-a-vis white missionaries challenged and haunted me. This challenge was the impetus behind my plans to join Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) staff to do a one-year mission trip to China. But I didn’t go. Rather, I accepted an invitation from my hometown pastor, Tom Chow, to return to San Jose and reach my American-born Chinese peers. After nine years of working as a project manager and volunteering with the youth group and young adult ministry, I joined the staff of my home church, Chinese Church in Christ - South Valley (South Valley) in 2006. In the summer of 2007, South Valley...

I judge fat people.  I assume they’re lazy and weak-willed. I want to bring attention to their obesity in case they weren’t yet aware. I’m tempted to lecture them about obesity’s effect on our health care system. I want to remind fat people of the statistics - I’m especially critical of fat people who frequent fast food restaurants. I want to ask “Are you sure you want to be here? Do you really want to super-size that?” America is a free country but I will absolutely judge the diet of fat people. I also don’t want to sit next to a fat person on the plane. I recall a news story about Samoan airlines charging customers not by seat but by pound. I remember thinking how novel and practical an idea that was. Being of Asian descent is also a disadvantage in accepting larger people. Relative to white people , I am a small, skinny Asian dude and my body type is normative for Asians. I am genetically predisposed against gaining weigh...

You know the type. This large slice of yellow humanity gorges itself on all kinds of cuisine and never seems to gain any weight. The demographic is characterized by slender forearms, chicken legs, and a delicate bone structure. You see them at the supermarket and Starbucks. You won't, however, find them at the gym. How to tell for sure? If it's a female, squeeze her upper arm. If it's a male, poke him in the belly. If either of these areas give like silken tofu, you know what you're dealing with - A skinny fat Asian. My first exposure to skinny fat Asians came from an extreme example - a middle-aged Asian American man. On a missions trip, a man, who had absolutely no discernible body fat on any of his limbs, face, or chest, took off his shirt. He looked like a fit male for his age but right there in his midsection angrily protruded a kangaroo pouch. It looked like a four-month baby bump. The bump was normally disguised by baggy clothes and bad posture but the...

On Monday of last week, I had my nose moved. After introducing himself, the ear-nose-throat surgeon asked if I had a picture of myself prior to the injury. He wanted to know if I always looked like I did. It was a good question. My mom was asking herself the same thing when she saw me the week prior. I had to check pictures myself to confirm that indeed, my nose was straight before. He confirmed based on my driver's license picture that I had indeed been better (or worse) looking than before. He said there was no obstruction in my nose and it would heal fine so any further procedure would be considered "purely cosmetic". That made me feel like a shallow person. To defend against this implication, I told him my glasses no longer sat centered on my nose and it made me dizzy to have one lens close to my face and the other farther away. He didn't sound very convinced. He told me I had two options - have my nose moved while under a local anesthetic or have it...

I broke my nose on Monday. I got hit in the face playing basketball but didn't know it was broken until I glanced in the mirror after the game. It didn't look the way I did before. My nose had a dent in it and the bridge was off center. Here are some reflections on the past week. Obsessing about my personal appearance: The funny thing is nobody noticed my nose was dented and crooked unless I mentioned it. I went to a church meeting on the same night of the injury and my parents were there. At one point, my dad looked straight at me for a couple seconds. I thought he could tell but when I asked him about it couple days later, he said he had no idea until I told him. Another lady I told said she noticed earlier but didn't want to say anything. She probably figured my nose had always been crooked. Either people don't play close attention to me or I'm uglier than I thought. Or both. Update: I found out that from the Monday meeting, my mom did notice m...