Rant of the Exiles

He doesn't wear a cape but he should Dear women of all ethnicities, I can't tell you how excited I am to share something with you. Let me set it up for you first. We Asian guys have a pretty bad rap.  There are statistics like Asian men have to make $247,000 more annually in order to receive the same response rate as white men on online dating sites . I've also been contemplating putting up a post titled: "Why Asian guys are more feminine". It lists the biological and cultural for why Asian men are less attractive relative to other races, specifically white guys. Examples: 1) we're smaller in stature with less body hair 2) our culture is more passive, less independent, and more emotionally restrained which rewards Asian women but punishes Asian men 3) the self-selecting population of Asian immigrants in the bay area tends to be high IQ and low EQ. In sum, I want to complain, whine, bemoan, have you feel sorry for us, blah blah blah. Enter

The ultimate wedding pick-up movie I went to a wedding this past weekend. It was awesome. I had such a good time that it got me thinking about how weddings are incredible events to meet new people. A wedding is, outside of college, the best social venue to find a life partner. First of all, it's a celebration. Everyone looks good and wants to have a good time. Second, you have a high probability of meeting someone of similar background and values. I know a dozen or so people who started dating as a result of meeting (or reconnecting many years later) at a wedding. Four of them are now married to each other.  Part of my calling as a pastor is to help people in their life journey. I love to see the people that I shepherd get married and live happily ever after. Therefore this post is dedicated to helping single adults meet and mingle at weddings. It's mostly for guys but I hope some of it is helpful for women as well.  1) Prepare in advance : Table seating is cru

Moderation in all things, especially moderation.  - Ralph Waldo Emerson I was talking to a pastor friend of mine a couple weeks ago. He's always talking about grace. Grace this, grace that, grace with bacon, grace and sunshine, grace everywhere. Sometimes I get tired of hearing so much about grace. It feels unbalanced. I want to balance grace with law. I want to balance grace with restraint. I want to balance grace with truth. I want to balance grace with justice. I want to balance grace with discipline. Part of the problem is I'm not exactly sure how to define grace. The Bible uses the term in multiple ways.  Grace is often defined as unmerited favor, which means that God has a boundless affection for us that has nothing to do with our good behavior, performance, or effort as in Ephesians 2:8-9. And yet it's more than that. Grace is love that goes first. It is how God express His divine power and influence in our lives, as in 2 Corinthians 8:6-7.

My brother got me David Epstein's book The Sports Gene . It is a fascinating quick read. If you're interested in sports and science, it will enthrall you.  I finished it in three days. Epstein's point is that far more of an athlete's performance is due to genetics than due to the so-called "10,000 hour" rule promulgated by books such as Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin (both which are very good). The 10,000 hour rule states that any person can reach expert level of performance in a sport if they devote 10,000 hours of deliberate and intentional practice.  That's a lot of hours. Most people aren't capable of anywhere close. And that's precisely Epstein's point. Someone who devotes 10,000 hours of sport-specific practice is likely genetically gifted for the sport in extraordinary ways AND genetically gifted in their ability to persevere and benefit from practice. Therefore, a person who can pra

I was in the United Kingdom for a conference last week. The topic was how our individual spirituality interacts with church life. About half the participants were Westerners (Brazilians, American or British-born/raised citizens) and the other half were Asians born in China, Taiwan, South Korea, Indonesia, and Malaysia. Our times of singing were great but one thing drove me crazy.  Clapping in unison. We couldn't do it. One person would get a clap going and then some other people would try to join in. But the rhythm of each person's clapping was off. It sounded terrible. I looked around and tried to refrain from laughing. It was like our group was clapping retarded. It was so bad that invariably the clapping would die off a minute later because it was so cacophonous and distracting. It dawned on me after the conference why we had an epic clapping failure. In eastern culture (particularly Chinese), you clap on every beat whereas in the west, you clap on every other