Rant of the Exiles

The hardest question for a pastor and especially a church planter, to answer is: How is your church going? It is a common question. It is akin to: How are you doing? It is also a loaded question. There are so many ways to answer and so many layers depending on the interest level of the listener, the social context you’re in, and if you had an oversized burrito for lunch. If it's a dinner party with a litigation attorney you just met, a brief one-sentence response can suffice. If it's in front of a fire pit with a good friend over whiskey, a more in-depth explanation is appropriate. The most challenging context to answer this question is around other pastors and church planters. Most pastors are polite to recognize the implications of the question. We tend to recognize the insecurities that drift around this line of inquiry. Since there aren't that many vocational ministers running around, comparison is inevitable. The biggest fear is the dreaded: "How many people atte...

Our church started a sermon series about money. Money has all kinds of contradictions for Christians. For instance, I believe: I am a citizen of an invisible nation and worship an unseen king Nothing I've received truly belongs to me There is an afterlife and my choices matter into eternity Money presents supernatural temptations Generosity is the way the power of money is subverted On the other hand, I contend with these earthly realities: I grew up in the Silicon Valley as the child of Chinese immigrants who worked their "dream jobs" at IBM and Apple through the 1970s and 1980s. My parents emphasized saving money (the "Asian conscience" ), and like many of their Silicon Valley peers, accumulated significant wealth from their stock and real estate investments I want to provide for my wife and my future needs as well as provide for my children and contribute to my kids' costs of higher education I worked in tech and am well-educated, competitive, and enjoy...

I never would have predicted we'd be reading Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg's new book about women's leadership, in our men's group at church but here we are. I told my co-leader that I have strong opinions about feminism and though my views aren't completely negative, I'm skeptical on the claims of the self-empowerment movement. I'm simply not buying all of the gender equality argument. However when my co-leader suggested the book as a way of getting to know women better, I couldn't back down on the challenge of a dissenting viewpoint. We have a neat group of guys in this club. They have made unique parenting decisions. Two of the men spent two years full-time at home each raising his young son. They felt it made a positive impact on their sons and had no regrets about the experience. One dad was unemployed so it wasn't voluntary. But the other chose to stay home from work and the women in his office were incredulous. They asked him why he wanted to...

Anne-Marie's Slaughter's controversial "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" examines why women continue to face barriers in career advancement that men don't.  After I read it, I felt angry.  I wasn't exactly sure why. I believe structural discrimination against women exists in corporate culture. I believe this bias extends to the evangelical church. And I believe stereotypes that Asian American women are submissive and compliant aren't helpful to career success either. And yet something about the article really bugged me.  But today I figured it out. In a New York Times blog post, Michael Winerip's  "He Hasn't Had It All Either"  hit it on the head. He articulated exactly what I've had trouble expressing. Who gets to have it all? Where did this assumption come from that we can get everything we dream about? Like Winerip, a writer who worked from home in order to be more involved with his kids, I'v...