Rant of the Exiles

 “Victor, how is the house search going?” his mom asked over the phone. “Its going great mom” gushed Victor. “What neighborhoods are you looking at?” “I don't think you've heard of it - east of downtown, near the park where the homeless hang out” “Victor, don’t worry about buying a nice house, just focus on the neighborhood with the highest- scoring schools” “What are you talking about mom?  Competitive schooling and supersized suburbia are for Pharisees.  We want Isaiah to reach the city for Christ. The urban center is where the unreached are.” “I know Isaiah is a just a baby but he will grow fast.  It's never too early to think about schools.  And I can help watch him if Julie want to go back to work” “Mom, are you even listening to me?  We’re not going to send him to Asian Academic All-Star Factory school.  We’re not even going to send him to Christ Redeemer Jesus Son of God daycare and preschool." “Really?  I he...

It seems most parents are deathly afraid of their kids being bored. I'm surprised when my peers tell me they can't take a family road trip without playing a movie on their portable DVD player. They can't handle the complaining. I've heard of parents going grocery shopping with their toddler-aged children sitting in the cart entranced by an iPhone. I see parents bribing their children with candy during church so they'll sit quietly. I see parents scheduling every hour of their school-aged kids' free time with music, language, sports, and tutoring. I'm not sure who is more afraid of boredom - the parents or the children. I totally get it though.  My first temptation, especially when I'm tired, is to turn on the electronics - hand them the iPad or pop in the video. Appeasement always works in the short-term. If I'm more energetic, my second temptation is engage them in some creative, imaginative building activity involving styrofoam balls and toothp...

One core game principle is irrational self-confidence. This means having a belief in yourself that goes way beyond any kind of objective evidence. I heard a great example while visiting Garden City Church a couple weeks ago. Justin Buzzard is an alpha male who recently wrote a book called "Date Your Wife" . I haven't read it yet but the cover is straight-up alpha. Its a finger pointed right at you. The title should have been "Date Your Wife or Perish".  He was concluding a sermon series promoting his book and talking about having the courage to ask a girl out. When he was college student, he bemoaned the lack of casual dating at his Christian college. So he and his friend set out to start out a "dating revolution" (his term). They would ask as many girls as possible out on dates and they would repeat this mantra to themselves: Women want to be with us. You get rejected. It doesn't matter - just move on. Because women want to be with...

I've always wanted to be tall. That didn't work out so well and I've settled for getting bigger. So now I lift weights, a pastime that I've taken up in fits and starts over the years. I thought about drinking protein shakes to get huge. Judy said no. She said I don't want you to become one of those guys. The Short Buffed Asian Guy (SBAG). It seems I'm not the only one to consider this approach. Legions of SBAGs testify to this. And it seem like the shorter you are, the more muscular you have to be in order to compensate for one's lack of height. I don't know any tall buffed Asian guys (Jeremy Lin does not count - he clearly has a neck). So what's with this phenomenon? First, Asian men are on average shorter than American men. And in my book, anyone 5'8" or under is short (which includes me). There are all kinds of insecurities that go with being short, especially for men. You look up to people. You make less   money . You fee...

I love short-term mission trips. Its exciting to go to another country or region and experience a world radically different from what I'm used to. The team bonding is tremendous and I grow so much as a result. And yet it never ceases to amaze me how we as Christians overestimate the positive impact we have on the target community. We are delusional about the benefits we bring. We think we're making a tremendous difference for the kingdom because we spend two weeks building a house for a family whom we can barely communicate with.  Darren Carlson does a fantastic job describing some of the problems of short-term missions trips here . He talks about how sometimes Christians are not only not helpful but actually do harm to the target community. Here's my favorite paragraph: Imagine a team from France calls your church and says they want to visit. They want to put on VBS  (which you have done for years), but the material is in French. They have heard about how the U.S. ch...

I went to a 3-day home schooling conference this week with Judy. Out of the 80+ moms who attended, I was one of three men (all dads) who participated in all the sessions. In one training class, our instructor kept referring to us as "ladies". Despite the gender inequity (which I was prepared for), I heard all kinds of creative ideas about how to bring up my children in the training and instruction of the Lord. That phrasing comes from Ephesians 6:4 and is a direct admonition to fathers, not mothers. From a biblical perspective, a child's education is the ultimate responsibility of dads. We may (and I do) delegate much of this responsibility to our wives but that doesn't excuse us from final accountability on how our kids turn out. Based on some comments I overheard from moms, I would say the majority of dads are disengaged from their children's education. This is not surprising.  Most fathers never get a chance to practice fatherhood before they become one. ...

Being an alpha male and being a good listener appear to be opposing ideals. But being a good listener requires a game principle called outcome independence. Here's a good primer on outcome independence from a Christian perspective (specifically for pastors!) and one decidedly not , but with gospel implications. Outcome independence means you stay focused on an important goal or process despite resistance. The Old Testament prophets including Jeremiah and Isaiah were HIGHLY outcome independent. They proclaimed judgment and repentance regardless of Israel's response. This principle will help a guy in every type of interpersonal relationship - as a father to his kids, as a husband to his wife/significant other, and as a man to his coworkers and peers. It is worth mentioning here that Asian American men in particular (and I'm preaching to myself here) would benefit greatly from learning outcome independence. Negative example: A couple days ago, I commented to Judy that she h...