Rant of the Exiles

I talked with a lapsed Catholic who doubts the existence of God and believes all religions are the same. He asked some good questions and it got me thinking. If there is no God, how would I live differently? If I had grown up without believing in the existence of God (which I did until I was 13 years old), what would my life look like?  It's a more of a practical question than a philosophical one. I thought about it for awhile. It felt a little strange to imagine life without God.  But then I decided my life would not be that different.  I would have gone to college. Probably the same school. All my friends from high school went to college. I would have chosen the same major - business administration - because I didn't like math but needed a technical-sounded field that brought honor to my Asian-ness. I would have a job. Of course I wouldn't be a pastor but I would probably work in high-tech. After college, I would have gone into management consult...

Wikipedia says: Racism is actions, practices or beliefs, or social or political systems that consider different races to be ranked as  inherently superior or inferior to each other , based on presumed shared inheritable traits, abilities, or qualities. [emphasis mine] This definition is inadequate for two reasons: 1) It quells rational observation and discussion about race Any time I want to make an observation based on racial/cultural characteristics, I am being racist.  If I comment that Ethiopians, on average, make superior long distance runners because of their body type, I am being racist.  If I observe that African American family formation in the United States is inherently inferior due to a high rate of out of wedlock childbirth, I am being racist. If I brace myself for inferior driving when I go to Cupertino's Ranch 99 Plaza, I'm stereotyping Asians as poor drivers and am therefore being racist. 2) It's not helpf...

My friend walked into the church from the parking lot. She had just returned home from college and was greeted boisterously by the overseas-born mom of one of her friends. The woman gave my friend a hug and at the same time, blurted out in Chinese: Wow - looks like you've gained some weight! All of us present laughed out loud while inwardly cringing. I felt so uncomfortable for my friend. Chalk it up to another case of tactless Chinese people making public comments about a person's body.  As part of an immigrant church, I hear Asian parents make these kinds of remarks all the time. And throughout childhood, I've witnessed relatives make rude comments to their younger kin. You've gotten bigger since the last time I saw you Have you gained weight? Or better yet, the back-handed compliment:  Wow - you lost weight. Keep it up. And the you-can't-win comment: You're too skinny. You need to eat more. Or the veiled fat remark: You...

We look at our spouses, children, and parents as the people we love most. In every culture, marriage and blood relations are the closest bonds one can have. In Chinese culture, the most important societal building block is the family unit. That's also true in Christian culture. After all, marriage is a spiritual covenant. Our children are a gift from God to raise in the LORD. And honoring parents is the fourth commandment. In seminary I was taught to prioritize my life in the following sequence: God, family, and then ministry. I understood (at least intellectually) that my church work should not jeopardize the more important ministry of loving my wife and children. Our Bay Area Discipleship Training Conference (DTC3) this past weekend centered on the theme of how we love each other as new creations in Christ. And one of the teachers objected to the notion that family is our most important earthly relationship. Peter said: Church is the most important thing in life ...

A Time article states the obvious: A study published in the journal  Pediatrics  finds that men who become fathers around age 25 see a 68 percent increase of depression symptoms over the first five years of being dads—if they live at the same home as their children. I became a father when I was 26 and it was a quite a bummer because I was used to getting all this attention from Judy and it all ended quite abruptly. We had been counseled about the transition but nothing quite prepares you for the way a baby consumes a mother's life.  The temptation for a mom to place her children ahead of her husband exists in every culture but I believe it's worse today because moms are more isolated from community than ever. It's not good for civilization . Books and on-line forums have replaced grandma and other traditional forms of social support. Moms need other moms (especially older ones) whom they can lean on to support each other. Dads need to set boundaries around the ...

My college roommate wrote a history thesis that went on to be published in the Berkeley Undergraduate Journal. His essay concerned views of Providence from both sides of the Civil War. Providence is the belief that God will provide in one's favor despite adverse circumstances. He argued that Christian leaders from both North and the South firmly believed that God would vindicate their respective causes. He cites Abraham Lincoln's second inaugural address in 1865: Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces; but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. Lincoln acknowledged that both North and South believed that God was on their side. And it was only in the afterma...

A friend's of my wife's put on an amazing parenting workshop at our church. Her topic was talking with your kids about sex. She suggested, among other things, that as parents we can help articulate values for our kids by writing them a letter. J. R. R. Tolkien did. The author of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy wrote a series of letters to his 21-year old son, Michael, after he was injured during a WWII training exercise. The longest of these letters (3000+ words), written in March 1941, deals with marriage and male-female relationships. The wisdom is every bit as applicable today as it as 70+ years ago. 1) A man and a woman cannot be "just" friends In this fallen world the 'friendship' that should be possible between all human beings, is virtually impossible between man and woman. The devil is endlessly ingenious, and sex is his favourite subject. He is as good every bit at catching you through generous romantic or tender motives...